Teaching girls to know the difference

"We need to teach our daughters to distinguish between a man who flatters her - and a man who compliments her. A man who spends money on her - and a man who invests in her. A man who views her as property - and a man who views her properly. A man who lusts after her - and a man who loves her. A man who believes he is God's gift to women - and a man who remembers a woman was God's gift to man...And then teach our boys to be that kind of a man."

I don't know who wrote the above statement, but they nailed it. For years I've told friends the key to solving so many of society's ills would be for women to stop putting up with bad behavior from men - and for men to treat women with the respect, dignity and kindness they deserve.

But so many women seem to be willing to do almost anything not to be alone, and so many men view women as property, as play things to do with as they will.

Over the years, more than a dozen women have wanted to marry me - many simply because they didn't want to be alone. The ink on their divorce papers wasn't even dry yet. Others were simply a matter of bad timing or a "bad fit." Not that either of us was bad, just that we shouldn't marry each other. I haven't given up hope, though I'm sure others wonder if I'll ever "settle down." When the time is right and the person is right, I have faith it will happen.

I've always viewed relationships of all labels as investments. Over time, they'll bear great fruit and grow stronger. That takes effort, and not everyone wants to bother with that. Sometimes, you just have to "let go," and greet the next day...the next week...the next month.

But I've forged countless quality friendships along the way, and to me it seems the only wise way to go.

A sad commentary on relationships....and society....today

Big shout out to all the women with 3 baby daddys and your man right now is the father of none of them

A posting on Twitter, the social media web site that allows folks to offer insight, wisdom, humor, inanity, or whatever else they wish to share in 140-character bites.

The Tao of Oreo

My Twitter friend Amy found poetry in the instructions on how to open a package of Oreo cookies:

To open - slide finger
under flap and
loosen gently.

As I pondered those words, I realized that in many ways it's how I love to approach relationships of all definitions: reach beneath the "flap" of the public personna and get to know the real person...gently, casually, over time.

I've learned it's the best way to get beyond the hard shell of the outside to the best part of the person: within.

Job description

I've been working on my taxes this weekend, and when I came to the line that said "profession," I had to smile.

The correct answer is journalist and author.

But in my heart of hearts, I'm a builder. A builder of relationships. Of stories. I love to get to know people....and get to know people better over time....with each conversation, each get-together, each gathering a new layer, a new chapter.

My favorite stories have substance, depth...and leave people saying or thinking, "I'm glad I read that."

But you can't fit all of that on one line.